After the death of a spouse, finding love after tragedy may not be the first thing you try to do. But sometimes love just happens. Anne Tarbell and William Marden III each lost their longtime spouses to cancer in 2010. Starting over again was frightening, but they adopted the mantra “life is for living.”
“We were basically each others grief counsellors” Anne says. ” And we were figuring out what are our lives priorities now. What’s important?”
Says Bill, of re-entering the dating scene, “I spent so much time wanting to get my life back to normal, but I was so fearful that things were going to turn out badly.”
But after grieving for their partners, a chance encounter on a New York street would change their lives. “All of a sudden she comes walking across 5th avenue and I look at her, and it’s like the whole city lit up”, says Marden of their first meeting.
And after much sadness, following their first date, Marden finally felt a sense of optimism. He says he left their date with a feeling that there would be a next time. And for both of them that’s all they needed to help move on.
Together they took up a love of cycling, buying a tandem bike that allowed them to not only get in tune with their hobby, but with each other as well.
Many studies have claimed that for a man to remarry is a compliment both to his late wife, and to the experience of marriage. It is not unusual, either, for a man to remarry a woman who bears a physical similarity to his first wife. Other studies show those who remarry after losing a spouse will see a lower risk of dementia.
Marden says you can move on while still honoring the one you lost. “Bad things happen very quickly.” he said, “And the worst thing you can do is waste another day.”
“I think you can have 2 loves in your life.” says Anne. “I certainly have.”
The two were married Feb 1st, 2014. Read the wedding announcement at the New York Times Website.
Source: NY Times